Bead and Jewellery Magazine: Thank you and Goodbye

It’s a couple of months since I announced my resignation from Bead and Jewellery Magazine. Well, my last issue went to print two weeks ago. It may even be out in shops and on subscriber doormats right now!

You might remember, when I made that announcement, I also said I was contemplating what would be next for me. Would I even stay in the beading world?

Well, now I want to tie up those loose ends and tell you where I am.

Bead and Jewellery Magazine

So, let me start with the farewell. Back in 2012, when I started this website, if you had told me I would end up editing Bead and Jewellery Magazine, I would have thought you were insane.

I never applied for the position. So, I remain very grateful for the out-of-the-blue phone call in 2014 to ask if I wanted the job.

It has been a real privilege to work with the designers who have contributed to my 24 issues. I have loved getting to know the beading shops who also contribute so much to the magazine.

The team of people I worked with have also been incredibly supportive. They work very hard, often under challenging conditions. But they still remain fun and we were very much a team. Without that team-work, none of the issues would have made it to print! So, I do want to say a big thank you to them for their support and I will miss them all.

Above all, I just really enjoyed the act of thinking about and creating a magazine issue each time. So, yes I am going to miss this as well.

Why I’m relieved to have left

However, without wishing to divulge specifics, or take away from the many positives, there are several aspects of that editing job that I am so happy to have left behind. Some you will be able to guess. The relentless pressure of constant print deadlines isn’t much fun, if I’m honest. But that is part and parcel of the magazine industry.

Other facts would surprise you. For example, did you know that I was never employed by the company that owns the magazine? I received a small fee for each issue. So, it often felt as though I was getting all the stresses of being an employee, but missing out on the benefits of legal entitlements like pension and so forth.

On the other hand, it did mean I was free to pursue my own beading business.

Although time was a huge issue. Editing a magazine is a full time job, but I was paid at a part-time rate. So, I found myself in the impossible situation of needing my website to earn money to make up the shortfall from the magazine, but just not having the time or energy to build it.

If you have worked as a designer for Bead and Jewellery Magazine, then you will be well aware of some of the frustrations. As editor, I shared them, but felt myself powerless to do anything to improve them. So, I can think of a lot of occasions where I found myself facing moral dilemmas that weren’t pleasant.

Maybe this is ‘just business’, but it’s not my ideal model of business. And I really don’t believe things HAVE to be done this way. So, now feels like the right time to be taking back control and beading in a way that feels good to me.

Reflecting back to June

So, let me briefly take you back to that blog post in June. I actually surprised myself with what came out when I sat down and wrote.

I felt that for a lot of you, the biggest takeaway was my feeling of depression with beads in general. And I have to say again, I was completely bowled over by the support that I received. I am still overwhelmed by Cath Thomas’ generosity (although not surprised – she really is an incredibly kind and caring human being) in appealing to the beading community to help me.

People who had been supporting my website since the beginning also wrote to me. I ended up feeling very ashamed of myself for the outburst and rather a fraud. Yes, the past 14 months have presented me with some really tough health challenges. But, I still have so much in my life to be grateful for and I am so lucky compared to many people.

So, I made a personal pact to try and honour that support by doing what I need to in order to make sure the website can sustain me financially.

The past two months have been a promising start, but I’m not there yet.

What happens next?

Happily, I have been able to wind down gradually from Bead and Jewellery Magazine. So, it has felt like a gradual slipping away rather than a shock departure.

Meantime, I’ve also been ‘winding up’ for what comes next. So, having made that commitment, I’ve been taking a long hard look at the way I run my website.

You should already have noticed lots of improvements. I’ve tried a few check out experiments to try and make things as easy for you all as possible.

I’ve been busy categorising patterns so you can search through easily, according to what you are looking for.

Then I’ve added to my beading supplies, so you don’t have to hunt for materials if you’ve bought a pattern from me.

Behind the scenes, I’ve been learning lots about running a business and trying to grow my skills there. So, I have lots more plans to come.

My health is a barometer

Bead and Jewellery Magazine taught me a lot in so many ways. So, I will be taking a lot away from the experience. The really big thing I’ve learned again is the importance of my health.

That probably sounds like a ridiculous statement. But last year’s relapse has also been a reminder of the damage that my body can sustain. Once again, I had found myself (put myself?) in a position where I was living and working unsustainably. I felt I had to be working that way in order to pay my bills.

So, the resentment I was feeling towards certain aspects of Bead and Jewellery Magazine ended up spilling over into my beading in general. I didn’t bead at all for over a month at the start of 2017. As you know, by June, I was questioning whether I should even be continuing.

Well, since taking the decision to resign and receiving the huge support from the beading community, I’ve realised a few things. In that process, I have also regained some of the physical, mental and emotional strength that I had lost.

So, my health still has a long, long way to go, but I am seeing consistent progress. The treatment regime I am currently following is really helping. But tests are showing so many big issues still and I have many more months, perhaps years of ‘healing’ to come. The prognosis is still uncertain. I don’t know how much energy I am going to end up recovering or what my ‘new life’ is ultimately going to look like. So, it’s one day at a time.

What have I realised?

I do want to continue to bead and to grow my website.

But I want to do this in a way that benefits everyone. Yes, I am trying to ‘build a business’. And yes, I do need to earn money because I have bills to pay. So, yes, I am going to have to ‘sell’.

However, I do not believe that all those things have to be about ‘taking’ from my customers. I really think a good business should be a two-way street.

So, I want people to spend their money with me because I am giving them a first-class product and experience. I want you to be using me because I help you to solve a problem or gain something more from your beading.

What does this mean for you?

I’ve been trying to think of things that can benefit us both. So, I know National Beading Week was a great experience for me and I hope it was for you too.

I’ve got a plan for September. So, stay tuned for another bit of fun that I hope will prove helpful to you as well.

But I need you to tell me what you want. How can I do things better? What would help you more? So, could you just answer a couple of quick questions for me please?

If you’re already having a great experience, then please let your beading friends know about me as well – thank you!

Make sure you don’t miss the big announcement for September. Join the mailing list here.